He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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