i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
