I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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