I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
