I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize