Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
