Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
