bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
