I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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