Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
