someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize