She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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