its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
