nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
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its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
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Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
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