I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
