Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize
