...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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