You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
