So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
