i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How does one acquire holy water?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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