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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night

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• (845): View more from New York

  Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations

  Fav 20 3252 824

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  u sound so gay right now

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.

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• (310): View more from California

  You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.

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• (707): View more from California

  Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (909): View more from California

  Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions

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• (650): View more from California

  Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you

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• (916): View more from California

  There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.

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