I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time