my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.