you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Randomize