woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
