A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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