I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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