I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
