It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
