why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
