so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
