i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize