Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
