If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
