He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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