We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
