i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
