I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
