Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
