I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
