so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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