No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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