Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Your face is a jimmy john
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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