haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
