Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
