Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The power of my boobs compel you
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
