i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
