We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
