people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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