I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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