so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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