I'm laying in your front yard are you home
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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