so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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