I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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