She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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