Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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