I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
