Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
well most of my day revolves around power hour
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
