my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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