is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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