How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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