I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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