Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
