Don't make out with my wife yet
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
