I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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