I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you had me at cake vodka
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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