well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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