WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
