never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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