my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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