It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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